Some of them are new to poly altogether, including one smartly dressed woman who met the love of her life — a married man — on Ok Cupid six months ago.

They’ve been together 17 years, and sometimes I see them as the same person.” She gestures toward the man on her left, who smiles and takes her hand.

Then her face falls: The wife, who is not present tonight, is pregnant.

“There’s this other large need that I have,” the woman confesses, “to get married and have kids.

There’s a huge guilt in me for wanting to date other men. ------------------------------ “Jealousy, time management, and lack of clarity around what you’re doing.” Baczynski ticks off the three most common pitfalls that beset practitioners of poly.

I’m afraid I’ll hurt him if I do.” She starts to cry. We’re seated close together on a lipstick-red velvet chaise at Wicked Grounds, a kink-friendly café on Eighth Street where you can purchasee hand-carved rosewood butt paddles with your peppermint tea.