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Communication is a vital part of our lives: a typical day involves many interactions between ourselves, our work colleagues and clients, our children, our friends, our ex's, future relationships, etc.This interaction takes place where we live, work, relax, socialize and wherever we perform routine tasks.Communication skills are critical for building healthy relationships, especially when one realizes that one of the most common causes of relational breakdown is a lack of communication.

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There is very little truth in the saying: "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never harm me." It's not what we say, but rather how we say it, that most often hurts another person. " "She talks and talks, but never actually says anything! Avoid bargaining, as this may lead to each party taking a rigid position which in turn can flare tempers. Your conflict probably isn’t about the issue that caused it to start in the first place. As your feelings come out, the solution may become clearer.

" "It's like talking to a brick wall" "I can't get through to you" "We can't talk about anything important without getting into a fight" "She's too emotional - she's either crying or shouting or complaining. When resolving conflicts, remember that their causes may run deep. Don’t forget that your goal is sorting out the problem, not winning an argument! Remember that by you listening to the other person; you will have set the tone for them to listen to you.

It's easier to avoid her" "He always gets defensive when I try to talk about issues" Communication is the art/ science of transferring a thought/ idea/ information from the mind of one complex human being to the mind of one or more complex human being(s). Sweeping issues under the carpet isn’t going to work in the long term, as old baggage will be brought up each time an argument starts. Control or Power Issues: Effective communication cannot take place if one person has "control" over the other or where there is not mutual respect and equality of relationship.

For communication to be effective, it must be a two-way process. Self: The communication centre, which includes the issue, topic or conflict at hand, has been "filtered" by the facts, interpretations, thoughts, feelings, intentions, and choices of behaviour / actions. When two people argue, they only hear "what they want to hear", not what's actually said. Most couples start arguing and within 5 minutes are arguing about the way they are arguing. To stay in control leads to relational isolation as the underdog reacts in anger at being manipulated or belittled.

It's important to give feedback - checking and confirming. Triangulation: Do not bring in a third party to avoid direct confrontation.

Last modified 18-Dec-2014 03:39